Mommy, someone’s tickling me


I just got off the phone with Lisa and she told me an interesting story.

Last night, Jolie woke Lisa up and said she felt someone was in her bedroom and he was poking and tickling her back. She showed Lisa how she moved when she felt the tickle and said she hasn’t felt like that since they lived on Waldron Ave.—their last apartment. Jolie was so scared that she slept in the living room.

Lisa went on to tell me that when they lived on Waldron Ave, she used to feel the same poking and tickling and her back would move the same way. She never told anyone about it until now.

When Lisa was 3-years-old, her biological father was murdered. She’s always felt her father was watching over her.

When Jolie was between the ages of 2 and 4, she would tell Lisa that a man would watch her sleep. He would never touch her, only watch over her. They lived in several different apartments, and the man would always be watching.

Sophia is 3 and she’s been saying the same thing. She’ll be playing in her bedroom and she’ll run out saying there’s a scary man in her room.

Both Murray Silver and Shirley Janney—the psychic I saw—told me that when a parent dies before their children grow up, their lives are unfulfilled so their spirit becomes a ghost and they stay with their children.

Lisa and I think that her biological father is the ghost that lives with them.

We’re doomed. We’re lost. We’re done!


 “I’m suggesting to you that the biggest problems on this planet today can only be approached from the field of spirit. And that is why the world is in the mess it’s in today. And why most people are in the mess they’re in today. Why most people are drug or alcohol addicted. 

“I don’t know anybody who’s not taking a drug of some kind because they can’t deal with reality. Because what they think is reality is actually only an illusion. This world that we live in, dear, this physical world we live in is an illusion. 

“This is not reality. The true nature of reality is emptiness. There’s no there, there. We are all constructs. Everything you see and encounter is a construct which means there was a time where it didn’t exist, there is a time where it will no longer exist so therefore it can’t be said to truly exist. 

“The only thing that’s real or permanent about you is that which science says doesn’t exist and that’s your spirit. And that is why this world is fucked up! 

“We live in a world of illusion and that which is real we call the illusion. And that is the reason why we are in the mess we are in. And if we don’t change our field of vision, we’ll never get it. We’re doomed. We’re lost. We’re done!” -Murray Silver

It’s a twister! It’s a twister!


I’m living on Silver Street in the house I lived in for 14 years in New Hampshire. My parents, Lisa, our dog Shadow—he passed away last August—and Cassie’s dog Buster are there.

I go outside and begin walking down the street toward town. I see Lisa sitting on a lawn chair in our neighbor’s driveway with the two dogs. As I walk down the street toward Lisa and the dogs, I notice the clouds are dark and low and they are starting to form the shape of a tornado.

I stop. My breath is quiet and shallow. I stand completely still as I see the clouds form a gigantic tornado about thirty feet to my left. The tornado cuts through the houses on the opposite side of the road from me, heading away from town. I hear screaming and crying.

I beg Lisa to go inside. It’s not safe. My mother is in the backyard now, leaning against the fence that separates the neighbor’s driveway and our backyard. I beg them both to go inside.

I see several tornados in the sky. One forms and speeds head-on in my direction. My feet can’t move. “Please go inside!” I yell over the wailing winds of the tornado. Just before it reaches me, the tornado jumps over my head and avoids me completely.

Lisa and my mother won’t go inside. I give up and run in the house. My father is sitting in the living room playing video games. I quickly tell him what’s going on and run down the basement stairs.

The stair’s railing is low. I’m able to lie on the ground and hug it. For some reason, I feel like this will keep me safe. I close my eyes. The house begins to shake and I feel a cool wind whip across my back. I know a tornado just went through my house and holding onto the railing saved me.

Lisa and my mother finally come down into the basement. Everything is quiet for a minute. My grandfather appears and says that everything is alright now. The tornados are gone, he says.

I wake up hugging my pillow the same way I was hugging the railing.

Tornados in New England? Doesn’t happen. But it did in 2008. This short video confirms 9 in NH Towns.

He and Me


“You’re my distance, destination of choice
I’d give anything just to hear your voice
I could’ve passed you on the street
Without saying a word
Most times I miss the voice
That goes unheard

What if I missed you
You got caught in the sun
What if I did something
Never to be undone”
            -Course of Nature, “Caught In the Sun,” Superkala, 2002

Tony and I have only been together for four months on May 29th. It seems like we’ve known each other forever which is why it seemed only natural for us to move in together after only knowing each other for two months. And that’s why it doesn’t feel weird that tomorrow we will be getting a family-share cell phone plan together.

He makes me happier than any guy I’ve ever dated. He is sweet, but not always. He is supportive, fun, and gets my lame sense humor even if he doesn’t find it funny. He’s dorky, adorable and incredibly sexy. We are good for each other, and we connect mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually.

There are a lot of weird things that tell me Tony and I should be together—other than my psychic, Shirley Janney, saying we are soul mates and were together in a past life.

  • I am from Rochester, New Hampshire and Tony is from Portsmouth, New Hampshire. It is a short 30 minute drive from my house to his. Tony was actually born in Rochester.
  • One of Tony’s elementary school best friends was Gary. I dated Gary as a freshman in college for about a month. Gary and I decided that we were better off as friends and grew to be best friends for several years.
  • Tony went to high school with the only guy I was ever in a serious, long-term relationship with. Tony’s father knows my ex-boyfriend’s family. Both families are from Portsmouth.
  • Tony and I both moved to Savannah because we love this town and hate the cold, snowy, New England winters.

Before, I would say that all of these strange occurrences are just a coincidence. But as my dear friend Murray Silver would say, “Nothing is coincidence.” Everything happens for a reason. With all of the common people we both know, we could have met in New Hampshire. But we didn’t. It took us both moving 1,100 miles away from home to find each other. And that’s how spirit works.

In the past four months, Tony and I have only spent a handful of nights apart. He’s leaving on Thursday morning to go back to Portsmouth for five days. It makes me sick thinking about being away from him, and it makes me sicker thinking about how pathetic I am.

I can’t help but think . . .


. . . That’s how spirit works every time I find myself in a bad situation and the outcome is in my favor.

Last night, Tony and I went to the Relay for Life at Atlantic Armstrong State University. The company I’m interning at, Georgia Heritage Federal Credit Union, participates in several charity events, and our team is in 3rd for money raised with this year’s Relay for Life.

We left around midnight. As I was driving North on Abercorn Street at 50 mph, I began to notice a figure of a person in the middle of the street. I started slowing down as I thought he was just crossing the road.

No. The man stopped in my lane while I was still going about 37 mph, looking straight at me and pointing at me to get into the lane to my left.

I freaked out. I slammed on my breaks and swerved to my left to avoid hitting this deranged man wearing pants and a hospital gown. Then I freaked out even more as I realized I didn’t look to see if there was even another car to my left before I switched lanes.

I pulled over and had Tony drive us the rest of the way home.

I thought about how lucky I was that I didn’t kill this man who looked as if he just escaped from the mental ward. I thought about how lucky I was that I didn’t crash into a car while trying to avoid hitting the man. I thought, that’s how spirit works. Then I thought about how I’m a horrible person for not calling 911.

I didn’t kill this man, but I also didn’t do anything to help him. Spirit saved us all last night. Now I’m waiting to see what karma will do to me for not helping.

Try not to die the wrong way, please.


When I moved to Savannah in March 2009, I had never visited. I could tell from pictures I found online that Savannah is where I needed to live and that SCAD was the college I needed to attend. I knew this in my heart, but when people asked, I couldn’t verbally justify my reasoning.

I instantly felt more at home here in Savannah than I ever felt anywhere else in my entire life. My spirit guided me here. Whether you believe it or not, my spirit knew I had to be here. Now that I’m beginning to get in touch with my spirit, I’m starting to figure out why.

Up until recently, I didn’t know the difference between a spirit and a ghost. I used the term interchangeably. But the two words are not the same.

As I said in my last post, we are all born with spirits. It is what guides us to do things. When a person dies the right way, their spirit will remain on Earth but in the spirit dimension. When a person dies the wrong way, then their spirit takes the form of a ghost. A ghost will appear as it did in the life it just died from, and is stuck in time and place looking for answers.

Right ways to die:

  • Natural causes
  • The sense of a fulfilled life

Wrong ways to die:

  • Suicide
  • Murder
  • War
  • Freak accident

 

Here’s a tip: never commit suicide (obviously). Most people do it because they think it will solve the problems of their miserable lives. Wrong! Your ghost will completely forget about why you killed yourself in the first place, and you’ll forever be trying to figure it out.

Om Mani Padme Hum


I want to know how to channel my past life from Savannah in the 1700s. I want to learn about this woman—where she lived, who she married, what she looked like, what she wrote. I want my spirit to recognize her if I find her.

Murray said that meditating will clear my mind and help me become more in tune with my spirit. He also said that clearing my mind will rest it more than a full night’s sleep.

So the other day, I began meditating.

Om mani padme hum. It means hail the jewel in the lotus. Focus. Sit comfortably. Center your vision on an object close by and just above eye level. A flower, a photograph, Buddha. Don’t think about emptiness. Just let thoughts go. Let noises in one ear and out the other. Repeat the mantra aloud. Repeat the mantra in your head. Find peace.

Om Mani Padme Hume written in Tibetan script on a rock outside the Potala Palace in Tibet

This morning I woke up at 5:57 a.m., and I was wide awake. I should probably leave out that Tony was too tired which is why I decided to meditate. But he was too tired which is why I decided to meditate.

I lay in bed with my eyes closed. Om mani padme hum. After about four minutes, my mind felt completely clear. I felt peaceful. I must have drifted off because when my alarm woke me up at 6:30 a.m., I jumped out of bed—ready to go and alert for the whole day!

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